Using the Right Words in Speech

I attended another short training course on how to use the right words in speech organized by Civil Service Club over the weekend. It was a morning well spent. The instructor happen to be the same lady teaching PhotoReading that I also attended just 2 weeks ago. Was planning to write a blogpost about Photo-read, guess will have to do it later when I have a better grasp on the subject.

Back to this "Right Words" talk. It's full of practicality, thus time passed really fast.

The gist of it is: To elicit the right response that we desire to achieve during communication, we need to address it correctly at the recipient's subconscious mind level.

Ultimately, the thoughts that we have since young and upbringings, environment, teachings and experiences, and our constant inner chatters have already form a pattern that becomes part of our belief system, which is being stored in our sub conscious mind to guard and protect us, on an auto pilot basis. To get the right message across, we need to lower this instinctive guard, by utilizing below methods. Read on. I hope you can pick up a few tricks here. :)

A. Avoid the Words that shutdown the subconscious mind, these are the Fight/ Flight words that the reptilian part of brain particular sensitive:

Don't, Must/ Have to, You Always/ Never, You Better, Ought/ Should, Cannot, I told you so, It's not true, I don't agree, But/ However

B. The magic words that elicit right/ better response, like:

***"Don't" Language Pattern***
#1) Don't + "what I want" language pattern
This needs a little elaboration here. Like the saying goes: What you resist, persist. Instead of saying "Don't run" to kids (and the kids run even further, agree?), If you say "Dont"+"you want to come over and walk with me?" will be more effective. Another example. Instead of saying "Don't be lazy". Try saying "Don't" "you want to finish your home work first so that you have more time to play?"

***Humility builds credibility***
#2) "Would it be ok" if ...
Ask permission, lower the guard, and be more open mind, open heart
Eg Would it be okay if I come over and meet you at 2pm tomorrow afternoon? Would sound better than
I would like to meet you at 2pm ...

#3) "Probably"
Eg You probably already know this ...
Gives the benefits of doubt, give other people credit

***From Telling to Guilding***
#4) "Might/ Maybe"
#5) "Perhaps"

To make these "responsive" words work its magic, we have to bear in mind the 3 golden rules i.e. Most people want to:
1. Be Right
2. Have a choice/ choices
3. Move away from pain and towards pleasure

With the right Intent in mind, it's not about manipulative. Safely practise it! Have a great week ahead folks! :)