The author is Dale Carnegie Training Greater China partner and owner, so he surely is the best person to interpret and explain the teachings of Dale Carnegie. The book is written in Chinese, but in similar style with Carnegie's other books full of examples in between. If you have read "how to win friends and influence people", "how to stop worrying and start living" you will know what I mean.
The book is divided into ten chapters, each explaining one formula at a time:
1. Determine to live a more freedom lifestyle
Once we are stress free, our immune system will improve, and health will come back. Our mentality decides how we act and react to situation. Always maintain a positive attitude. 90% of our worries will not materialize anyway, so why live in the negative self sabotaging thoughts and be haunt by it?
2. Live in the Day time compartment
Compartmentalize our life timescale. Live in the current moment and heaven is NOW. No point worry over the spilled milk (PAST), and not to worry about tomorrow worries (FUTURE). Today is the Day that we all need to seize and treasure.
3. Three Magical steps to overcome all the worries
a) Ask ourselves what could be the worst situation?
b) Accept the worst situation
c) Try our best to improve from the worst situation
Similar to Chinese idiom saying 否極泰來, when one reaches rock bottom worst situation, we could not go any more down but have to improve. Always have high hopes. There are many ways to improve the situation, and don't be paralyzed by the issues we currently facing.
4. Three principles to analyze and resolve issue
As taught by Greek philosopher Aristotle, the three key principles are:
a) Collect the facts
b) Evaluate the facts
c) Make the decision, and take immediate action
To be factual one needs to calm down left brain and invoke our logical reasoning mind.
Two techniques:
- count the color items in the room and surroundings
- ask the famous 6Ws: who, where, what, when, why and how
Once decided, back by facts and evaluated, we should march forward and don't look back.
5. The four questions need to be asked before solving any problem:
a) What is the problem? Define it.
b) What causes the problem? The real root cause.
c) What are the possible solutions?
d) What is the best option?
Many times before finish answering these questions, the problem is no longer an issue. :)
6. Have fun in our work, job
- boost morale everyday is a new day
- do things one at a time, like the sand passes thru the funnel "one grain at a time"
- take a 5 mins break to rejuvenate our energy before getting too tired
7. Set stop loss for worry
When situation can't be improved, after we have tried our best, we should simply accept the fact, and move on.
At least we won't lose every hopes if we have set a stop loss.
8. Divert our attention by being occupied with positive work
Often time when our mind is free, we will become negative and feeling down. To combat this, we should make ourselves busy and take actions continuously, no matter how small or trivial it is.
9. Forgive and Forget
Don't expect people will reciprocate when you have helped others. Don't take it for granted. Be kind, forgive and forget, don't hold grudges with your enemies or those who had hurt you.
10. Peace at mind
Count our blessings that we already have. Be grateful, and have gratitude on things happening to us. Don't let our lives become monotonous. Our children will follow parents when they make it a habit to have gratitude in everyday living.
The final chapter says it all. These are not new teachings. We all know these and aware of it, but not practicing it only. Start by changing our mind, thought, and our action will start to change for the better.
I am glad that I didn't return this book to the library too early before finish reading it, and got to renew it. I had dragged too long to write this post to remind what I have read and learnt. I hope you can pick up some good pointers to combat your stress when you are feeling stressful next time. Now go play! Have a good weekend folks! :)
